Welcome to the website that features my short story collections, which are available as e-books.
E-books are (fairly) eco-friendly, don’t sit on shelves collecting dust, and don’t end up in a charity shop (unless someone sets up an e-charity shop).
E-books can be your friends – if you are a strange, weird person – otherwise you could just read them. You can’t set fire to them or use them to prop up wonky-legged tables.
In December 2016, I published my first e-book, It Never Happened, a collection of forty-four dark, humorous, off-beat short stories.
The biggest problem facing a monkey today is: trees. – The Monkey That Came Down From The Trees (Leaps And Bounds)
There’s only so much evidence a small Jack Russell can dispose of. – Blood
On February 28th 2018, I sharpened my crayon, wrote and published my second book of dark, humorous, off-beat short stories, This Never Happened Too. These stories were elegantly crafted by me over the past thirteen months.
(I say, elegantly, but I perhaps mean elephantly.) Price £2.99
Tony was an atheist. Not for him the wimpish, effete, uncertainty of agnosticism: he was a devoutly, true unbeliever; staunch in his views, and active in his contempt for stupid, woolly-headed, God-fearing fools. Tony set fire to churches. – Anthony
‘He won’t wash his hands,’ she thought; thinking of all of the germs festering on the door handles, waiting to be passed on to the other children, herself and other members of staff. – A Lesson In Life
It is my intention to publish a number of other books before I get run over by a bus. Or eaten by a panther (‘roar’).
I’ve been told (by experts in the Internet website business) that I need to make my front page more interesting, to attract more custom – by putting a dancing penguin on it, for example. So here it is…
OK, so it isn’t moving much, but you can’t have everything…
…it’s got a beak.